My Arms Are Open Wide
by Griselda Banks
Summary: Oneshot. Alphonse takes pity on Elysia's friend Gloria. All he wants is to take away her pain. But there is something that she needs, and will he be able to give it to her? Or will her pain continue?


**Author's Note: This is the latest installment in my mini-series of fics about my OC Gloria (mainly "Medium-Sized Heaven" and "Gloria in Excelsis Deo"), but you don't necessarily need to have read the others to understand this one. When I first wrote my fic "Gloria in Excelsis Deo" over a year ago, my beta and good friend NewMoonFlicker mentioned that she "just wanted to know where Al was". I never managed to come up with a way to bring him more prominently into that fic without making a needless detour that made the plot drag – or even undermining the plot completely. So the next-best thing was to put that interaction into a separate fic! Ha. Easier said than done. After a long period of thinking over this idea and trying to figure out how to work their relationship and this conversation in particular, I finally got a breakthrough when I saw the movie Martian Child. That movie has absolutely nothing to do with this subject matter, but one line in the climax kept coming back to me afterwards, and finally it clicked in my head that I could use it for this fic. After that, it was relatively easy to write. Since the other Gloria fics were in first person, I decided to stay in that style. Oh, and it seems pretty obvious to me, but in case anyone needs clarification or reassurance, this is NOT romance. More like a...big brother/father/uncle sort of thing.**

_For NewMoonFlicker, because without her Gloria would not exist and I would never have heard my name sung to me._

_

* * *

_

_And when you're feeling all alone_

_And you can't go on_

_Remember I am here_

_And when you think you've gone too far_

_I'll meet you where you are_

_My arms are open wide...._

_- "Caroline" by Seventh Day Slumber_

I first met Gloria at a Christmas party at the Hugheses', the one rare year that nearly everyone managed to make it. Somehow, most years someone seemed to be absent, visiting family or staying home, sick from the weather that always seemed to turn suddenly cold right around that time. I think I would like to choose that year as the memory that always comes to mind when I think of Christmas. Everyone was so happy, bubbling over with the quiet joy that you experience in a family that loves you.

But I was going to talk about Gloria. That time, we barely spoke more than a greeting; I think I even forgot her name by the end of the night. Most of the time she and Elysia were playing with Nina and Trisha, so I didn't see her much until the gift-giving. But throughout the night, I found my eyes drawn to her quite a bit. Maybe it was primarily because she was the only new face in the room. I don't know. All I know is that I found myself watching her face throughout the evening, and I was intrigued. She smiled as much as anyone else, and she looked genuinely happy, but I sensed a certain wistfulness about her as she sat in the midst of the wrapping paper on the floor. She looked very pleased about a large book Elysia had given her, and she couldn't seem to keep from opening the book now and again to read a few lines. But she always closed the book again, and looked around at everyone with a smile on her face, yet sadness in her eyes. I got a long look at her face one of these times, and I could see it there, in her eyes. Some kind of hidden, unspeakable sorrow she'd held for a long time.

I notice these kinds of things about people. Maybe it comes from all the people-watching I used to do as a suit of armor, all the times I would watch people and try to imagine what their stories were, where they were going, what they were feeling right now. And I guess it's not just my brother that I can read; I've surprised some people by mentioning something they never even imagined they'd let on about. But if you watch people, then every movement of their hands or their eyes gives them away, and you can start to guess at what they're feeling. My brother says I ought to go into counseling, but I think it's a little late in my life for a career change.

I saw Gloria many times after that first Christmas. She and Elysia were very close, so often she would be at the Hugheses' house when my brother and I would drop by. We spoke more, got to know each other better. Had some very nice conversations. She was always very polite and respectful; in fact, she seemed a little intimidated by my brother. I'd like to think she was a little more comfortable around me, even if she often seemed very aware that she was speaking to a general of the military, and not just some ordinary person. I wished she would see me as more than that, or less, or something. It makes me just as uncomfortable to be treated differently simply because of the circumstances of my life, even when I'm out of uniform. But even so, Gloria and I struck up a sort of friendship, as much as two people can have when they're so far apart in age.

I discovered that she had a passion for foreign languages, that she dreamed of becoming a translator of some kind. When she spoke of all the different languages she was studying, she got that same look on her face that my brother gets when expounding a new theory. But when she wasn't caught up in the fervor of what she loved most, she seemed almost defensive about it. As though she thought people would tease her for having such different interests. I, for one, found it refreshing. After seeing teenage girls around Central gossiping and spending all their time shopping for new clothes and trinkets, I enjoyed spending time with a teenage girl who had a more practical, academic interest. I suppose she reminded me in a way of myself and my brother. We were never really all that interested in the things our peers were interested in. The latest comic book never piqued our imagination, and we hardly ever bothered going out to play ball with the other kids. Alchemy has always been our recreation, it seems.

But while I had many pleasant, polite conversations with Gloria over the next few years, she hardly ever mentioned her family. I heard her mention her mother several times, and it was usually something to the effect of, "I better go; my mom's going to _kill_ me if I don't get home quick." And I also heard something about several brothers, but I never heard the slightest mention of her father. I wondered, but I didn't say anything, because I didn't want to jump to conclusions or stick my nose in where it didn't belong. But I couldn't help noticing the way Gloria looked at my brother the few times we brought the whole family to Central to visit. Sometimes, I would see Gloria gazing at my brother when he played with Nina and Trisha, or read them a story, or held them in his lap till they fell asleep. And that wistful look would come onto her face again. Then a slight smile would lift her lips, as though she was basking in the love that fairly emanates from my brother when he's around his family. But after a few moments, the smile would slip off Gloria's face and she would seem to sink into herself, her shoulders hunching ever so slightly with the burden of the sorrow she kept inside.

I was intrigued and touched, but I didn't think there was anything I could do.

One day when Gracia invited me over for tea, as she does every now and then, and Gloria and Elysia were off to see an imported Drachman movie, I asked about Gloria's father. We were already on the topic of the girls, so after a while I asked, "Gracia, what...happened...with Gloria's father?"

Gracia smiled sadly. "You _would_ notice. Gloria's parents divorced when she was very small. She hasn't seen her father since then. Isn't that awfully sad?"

"Yes," I said softly, my gaze turning absently out the window. "It most certainly is."

* * *

I never said anything to Gloria. Never let on that I knew now why she gazed at my brother that way. I just didn't want to hurt her by bringing up a sore topic and letting her know that we had spoken of something so personal behind her back. I knew from previous encounters that it would hurt her pride. But I wanted to help her somehow, and for the first time I actually _did_ consider learning something about counseling. But my chance to help her came at a time when I least expected it.

It was Elysia's seventeenth birthday, and she was having a large party at her house with many of her friends from school, as well as several family members, adopted or otherwise. My brother and I had been invited, but he wasn't able to come, so I went to represent the Elrics. It was a lovely party, with excellent food as always, rousing party games that involved the adults as well as Elysia's friends, and many presents that Elysia opened with delight. I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

But when Elysia opened the present that was supposed to be from her father – a teddy bear Hughes had set aside money for in his will – I noticed that Gloria was absent. At first I thought she had just gone to the bathroom or something, but when she never returned I began to wonder. No one else seemed to note her absence; there were many people in the house, after all. When Elysia and her friends moved off to play another game, I went in search of Gloria.

I finally found her in a corner of the garden. The Hugheses always kept their doors open to the garden as long as it was warm enough, so it was a simple thing to slip out and go wandering through the beautiful flowers. Gloria had secreted herself behind a large bush, where she sat with her back against a tree. It was impossible to see her until you were three feet away. When I found her, she just looked at me sullenly.

"Mind if I join you?" I asked softly.

Gloria shook her head, so I squeezed past the foliage and sat down next to her.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?" I asked, looking up at the deep blue sky.

"Just lovely," Gloria grunted.

I looked sidelong at her. I could tell she was anything but happy, but I couldn't figure out why. Usually she was cheerful at the Hugheses' house. "Great party, huh?"

"Smashing."

I sighed and settled back at my elbows, looking up at the sky again. "So, did something happen at home?"

"What are you, a counselor or something?" she snapped.

I was surprised that she could tell what I was doing so easily, but I tried not to show it. I smiled and said genially, "My brother _does_ say that would be a good line of work for me. But it's too late now; the military would never let me go that easily. I suppose I could try doing something with the psychological State Alchemist tests."

Gloria sighed and hugged her knees up under her chin. "Why'd you come out to find me? Are people wondering where I am?"

I smiled over at her. "No. I just missed our conversations. Haven't seen you in a while, so I thought we might catch up on things." She didn't say anything, so I just started to talk about what had been going on in my life. She made no response to anything I said, and I wondered if she was even listening, but I hoped I was at least a small comfort to her even so.

Then suddenly Gloria blurted out, "My parents are divorced, you know." When I lifted my eyebrows, she snapped, "That's what you're trying to get me to talk about, isn't it? Don't try to tell me you're not! I can see right through you."

I shrugged and sat up straighter. "You got me." When she fell silent again, I said, "So...care to tell me why you're sitting behind a bush today?"

Gloria sighed and leaned back against the tree trunk. "My mom's started dating."

I looked over at her, hearing the pain behind those words.

But Gloria didn't look at me. "Mom has two jobs, but even so we're going into debt. Two of my brothers are in college, and in the fall the twins will be going too. Then it'll be my turn next year, and anyplace I want to go is really expensive. So my mom wants to remarry, so at least there'll be another person to make some money rather than spend it. I hate being part of the burden on her, but...."

"But you don't want your mother to remarry," I guessed.

Gloria nodded glumly. "My dad...he used to yell a lot. I don't know why my mom married him; I guess he must've been nicer in the beginning. I think he started drinking. I remember him slapping mom across the face a couple times." Her voice had grown almost as soft as a whisper, and she massaged her cheek as though she had just felt the slap. Then her face hardened. "And I don't want that to happen again."

"Not all men are the same, you know," I said softly, trying not to let the shock and indignation come through in my voice.

"No," Gloria said through gritted teeth. "But my mom's the same, and won't she just go and pick another man from the same kind?"

I drew in my breath with surprise, but she wasn't finished.

"And besides, I don't want some _guy_ coming to live in my house and act like he's my father. He won't know who I am. He probably won't even care." She lowered her head so her face was obscured by her thick hair. "And I don't _need_ a father."

She couldn't have said anything farther from the truth, but I knew better than to argue. "Do you hate your father?" I asked softly.

Gloria seemed to struggle with herself for several minutes, then said slowly, "It's...not so much that I hate him.... I just...."

"...can't remember him," I finished for her.

She looked up in surprise, and for a moment a beam of understanding passed between us. "H-How did you...?"

I smiled sadly at her. "My father left us as well. I was...three, I think. Maybe two. I have no memories of him before he left. And how can you hate someone you don't even remember?" I heaved a great sigh, remembering painful conversations my brother and I would have about our father. "He had his reasons for going. I met him years later and found out he was actually a pretty decent guy. And he acknowledged that it was a mistake to leave us, that he wished he had never gone. But even so...none of his words or actions could justify his leaving us. He hurt us when he left. None of us were the same, once he had gone. Even if I can't remember him from my childhood, he's affected the way I live my life. And you wouldn't notice it, but it's the same for my brother. Deep wounds can heal, but they'll still leave scars."

"Why...?" I looked over and saw that Gloria was sitting with her hands limply in her lap, tears trembling on her eyelashes. "Why did my dad go? He must've loved my mom at some point, right? They had all five of us. What changed? Was it because of me? I was the last one. Was I not good enough for him? Was it because I'm a girl? Was it because I'm ugly and worthless? Why did he leave?"

I looked at her, sobbing and hating herself, and my heart broke. Emotions swirled inside me, fighting to break free. At last, I burst out, "Because he was stupid!"

Gloria looked up at me in surprise, her tears forgotten for a moment.

I looked deep into her red-rimmed eyes and said fiercely, "He left because he was stupid. He would have to be, to leave such a precious, intelligent, _beautiful_ girl behind. Anyone in their right mind would _die_ to have you as their daughter, Gloria. I know I would."

She stared at me for a few moments with a dazed look of shock on her face. Then she lowered her eyes again and mumbled, "Do you...really think...that I'm beautiful?"

"Yes, Gloria," I said, and I couldn't keep my voice steady anymore. "I do."

Then she broke down, and I did too. And I held her, and she clutched at me as if afraid I was going to leave. But I won't. For as long as I live, I'll be here for you, Gloria. I want to share in your joys and sorrows alike. I want to hold you in my arms and rock you to sleep. I want to chase away the monsters that would hurt you, and I want to shield your heart from harm.

Because that's what a father is for.


End file.
